


Our Private World

by DarkdannyFF



Series: PTSD Series [6]
Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Adopted Children, Bullying, Depression, F/M, Father-Daughter Relationship, Fluff, Grief/Mourning, Interspecies Relationship(s), Interspecies Romance, Interspecies Sex, Loneliness, New Friends, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Survivor Guilt, Turian Daughter, Unconventional Families
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-09
Updated: 2017-12-09
Packaged: 2019-02-12 11:11:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12957954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkdannyFF/pseuds/DarkdannyFF
Summary: For the two of them family knew no species. They had lived together alone for so long, that perhaps it was time to expand the picture...





	1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

**…**

Grumbling mutinously about asari over-engineering as his omni-tool scanned underneath his beaten up 2178 Caldala air car, Michael Rivers wished he could just go out and pay for a proper goddamn mechanic and not have to jerry-rig the piece of shit car for the third time this year.

Money was tight at the moment, but he supposed much of the galaxy was feeling the pinch following the Reaper War. Still, perhaps it was time to give up on this lost cause, take out a loan and purchase a new vehicle. Holding a debt would probably be preferable to plummeting from the sky and crashing in a ball of flames.

Exhaling, Michael stretched his arms and checked the time. It was about time when his daughter got home from a long day at school. He would have to get dinner going for both of them, which was an affair in itself. He wasn't exactly the greatest cook in the world, but apparently he did it well enough to keep the two of them from starving.

Sure enough, behind him he heard the sound of little feet pattering on the concrete of the garage behind him. It was all the motivation the father needed to push himself from out under the vehicle and smile up at daughter standing over him. To get that smile from her when she came home, well, it was certainly a high point of his day.

Today was different. Her mandibles remained locked close together, and she just stood there looking at him. It didn't take a doctorate in xenopsychology to see that the Aliani Rivers, his eight year would turian daughter was hurting.

"Ali?" he spoke up to her as he brought himself onto his knees and remained there just about eye level with the little girl.

Aliani remained steadfast in her silence. Michael blinked and did not push the subject any further. He had developed a winning strategy with her recently, and all it involved was staying silent and locking eyes on her. He did not speak or blink. He just waited until his girl would crack under the pressure; her father had placed on her.

So the two of them remained locked, staring at each other; Michael hated watching his girl stand there, attempting to remain standing there without tear ducts to shed tear over what it was that was bothering her. He watched as Aliani's mandibles started to click softly as her large frame - average for a turian child, but a foot taller than any human eight year old - shook. His lips curled into a smile which she knew was an expression he gave only to one person in his life.

Before he realized it eighty odd pounds of pointy turian dropped down on top of him. It was sharp, it was painful, and he wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. He reached out and pulled her tight into his arms and listened as she sobbed into his shoulder.

"Daddy," she mumbled into his arm. "Daddy, I do not want to go to school anymore. Everyone is mean. Sara called me  _boneface_  and everyone else joined in and I don't like them!"

Running his fingers against the back of her head in a slow circular fashion as he did since she was much younger, Michael inwardly nodded. It was his hypothesis that this day would eventually come, living on Eden Prime like the pair of them were doing.

Following the sledgehammer strike on Palaven, the Reapers diverted hundreds of ships from the main force and scattered them into turian space in a concerted attempt to divide the Hierarchy's defense of Palaven by forcing the Hierarchy to protect the worlds which were supporting the defense of the home world.

It worked.

At the beginning of the Reaper strategic shift, the turians were too proud to admit that the diversionary raids and conquests were weakening their position. They remained steadfast, but anyone living in reality could see they were wavering. To make matters worse, even as they started to crumble and the war situation grew desire by the day, the turians still diverted men and material to the weaker client species, even to the other Council species. Yet still, they never asked for help, no matter how precarious their situation got.

It was not until the events of Eden Prime, New Esperance, and seeing what a single turian could do with a little bit of help from an alien that turian high command swallowed their pride and spoke up, asking their allies to support the defense of their colony worlds. A millennia of military stoicism was being broken for the good of everyone. It might have indeed been for the best, but it didn't hurt any less.

One the first official meeting was made by General Galius Kalanis, the Commander who was assigned to organize the defenses of the colonies. The General had expected nothing but token support from his allies in the Alliance, who had their own problems on their own worlds. Who could really blame him for feeling that way? The war was one where the life or death of your species was on the line. The General was a cold realist in the face of the Reaper war. Humans would naturally want to protect their own. It was what he would do.

Yet in the face of this reality, the Alliance had offered no excuses. Even exiled from Earth, they did not debate against each other over the subject. The human general was an hour and a half late to his meeting. He wasn't nearly as presentable or groomed as General Kalanis was. Unshaven, and rumpled, General Grigory Rokossovsky of the 14th Army Group showed up at the meeting. He was late because he had to go buy the two bottles of Vodka – a dextro and a levo each - in each of his hands and asked but one question on behalf of his superiors:

" _Where do you need us?"_

The sacrifice of the 194th Light Infantry Division on Eden Prime and the subsequent destruction of a Reaper Dreadnought was an event the Alliance Military was not about to forget easily. Blood and victory would be repaid with blood and victory.

With the promise of fresh troops who but needed turian logistics to move the humans groundside brining probable jubilation to General Kalanis; with that the two men got drunk and for a short while they both tried to forget the horrors the war was inflicting on their respective races. Details on what happened next were sketchy and rumours, but apparently the two men went down to an Izakaya on the Citadel Presidium and caused a ton of damage. But that was all just rumour and hearsay.

The turians were a hard race to read, they would never admit to anything voluntarily; but Michael liked to think that it was this moment that finally ended all the serious fear and suspicions between human and turian peoples. It only took the death of billions, the siege of the Palaven and the exile from Earth, but they now stood together: They were now siblings defiant in the face of a galactic extinction event.

All of this was important to him, because it was this that Michael and Aliani crossed paths.

In the twilight of the Reaper War, the 213th Mechanized Division was dropped onto the turian colony world of Heltarius to act as the spearhead against Reaper forces on the world with the rest of the 13th Army the Alliance sent. The local military units fought as bravely as they could in the face of an overwhelming Reaper ground force, but they were definitely in need of the human presence. Michael could still remember the cheering when his unit broke through the Reaper siege on the capital of Heltarius, Katara, and began the three week long battle to reassert turian control over the world.

It was during this time, his armour platoon was sent forward to secure the settlement of Araktis as a staging ground for the next stage of the offensive. When they got there it was a bloodbath. The turian populace had put up a hell of a fight, and the Reapers decided they were too much of a trouble to pacify, so they sowed total destruction on them. The township was razed to the ground. For every live turian they found, five were found dead.

As horrifying as it was, Michael could not help but feel some sort of reverence to what he was witnessing. The people refused to lie down. They pick up whatever weapons they could find, whispered their farewells to one another and fought until the bitter end. They had no illusions what complicity to the Reapers would bring and instead, they chose their own ends.

He and his squad were sent out to secure a farm. The armoured personnel carrier they road in was uncharacteristically bumpy. It took them getting out seeing what it was. They had found that they were driving over a road full of Reaper corpses. When they reached the farm itself they were greeted with the sight of fifty plus corpses of men, women and children. The bodies were still fresh, a few hours at the most. All of the turians lying dead, died with their rifles either tight in their talons, or nearby their bodies. Such was expected from a people who had a nearly universal draft for all able bodied citizens.

Just as Michael was about to call it in, he heard a strange sort of noise through the roaring and howling of the fire being carried by the wind. When he had gone to investigate, he found a young turian child. She was filthy and covered in soot. She remained weeping at their side clutching onto the body of her mother. As he found out from her medical records, she was only three years old at the time.

It took some effort a few simple words in the turian language he picked up over the month he spent in turian contested space to convince her to let go of her parents. He held onto her tightly in his own arm, singing lullabies of his own youth as he rocked the exhausted child into a state of sleep. As soon as she was relaxed and slumbering, he extricated himself out of her tight grip and lifted her up into his arms. He carried her back to the APC, ignoring the stars of his squad mates as he laid her down in his spot.

He returned back to the bodies of her parents with a trench shovel as well as a couple of body bags, and went to work digging them out a grave to share. He only paused long enough to gather their personal effects from off them. The Father was named Lainius, the Mother, Solaka and the child was Aliani Vetis. The omni-tool and identification tags would be small mementoes for the girl to cherish someday when she was old enough to understand what had happened; that they loved her so much that they sacrificed their lives to keep her safe.

The ride back behind the lines to Araktis was a mostly quiet. The girl woke up and starting crying as she presumably remembered what had unfolded. She was back in his arms, unperturbed by the fact that he was an alien. He held her in his arms the whole way back.

When he arrived back to the local government, he brought the girl to the local government officials sent to oversee turian civilian matters. He brought her before several turians in charge of child management, who decided it was best to ship her off world. As they went to take her, however, she just lost it. She started screaming as though the child support workers were Reapers coming to take her away. She wrapped her talons around his neck so tight that they drew blood. She did not let go until he told them to back off her.

So the decision was made on the spot by the three adults. The child was clearly traumatized and refused to leave the human. The turians were… surprisingly empathetic about the matter at hand. Quietly they went to his CO and asked if they could spare troops to act as sentries to protect the growing refugee camps. General Cheong agreed, and the next thing he knew, he had been assigned to the detail.

It was a quiet posting compared to half a year he spent in near constant combat, but it was welcomed. It was in this time he slowly found himself building on the connection he had with Aliani. He did his best to reach out to every turian agency he could get a hold of to get information on Aliani's extended family, but nothing turned up. They had shared a similar fate to her parents. After weeks of endless queries, he just stopped searching and focused on her alone.

He wanted to give her back everything she had lost. Family, happiness and as she slowly started opening up again, and as he did to, it made him remember things he had wanted to forget.

The family he had lost on Earth.

At the time, he did know for sure. News from Earth was sketchy at best. It took until the wars end and his return home to learn that just everyone he had loved had died in the opening hours of the Reaper invasion of Earth, and the rest of them died in the months of occupation that followed. His wife, Michelle, Tanya and Sarah, his eight and nine year old daughters, his parents, his siblings... everyone was just gone, and he was still here trying to live with their ghosts and bring this baby girl back out of the misery she endured caused by this war at the same time.

The only way he could manage was to forget their faces… to pretend that they were only figments of his imagination... dream people who never existed anywhere else but in his head. That worked sometimes, but nowhere near as much as he had hoped. In the end the only thing keeping him going was seeing to Aliani's improving wellbeing.

From there, it wasn't much of a stretch for him to approach the child services with the intention of adopting her.

Naturally this didn't go over well, at least not at first. It wasn't long before he found himself a turian adoption case lawyer and the support of all the caseworkers who were overseeing the interactions between Aliani's interactions with him. They testified at the hearings on his behalf without pause of hesitation. It was a gesture of trust and faith in him that astounded him to this day. The judge handling the adoption hearing decided to take his word the case worker's word on it. Provided he could prove he could provide a stable life for her. He did, and the paperwork was processed before he knew it.

So now Aliani had a father again, he had a daughter again and together in the shadow of overwhelming loss, the two of them quietly built a life together… just the two of them, only for the two of them. Sure, there were minor inconveniences caused by the differences in species, but they embraced their differences with open hearts.

…And yes, naturally it wasn't long before they had nicknames for each other. Aliani was Bird Daughter, and he was Ape Dad.

" _Daddy?"_

Aliani's small flangling voice broke his misty eyed reflection. He found her to be standing back up, her arms crossed over her chest. Michael looked up and smiled at her. She did not smile back. The name calling she was enduring must have really been a bother for her. Wiping a hand with a cleanish rag, he reached out and took his eight year old by her talon and smiled reassuringly up at her.

"Nothing that they say is worth a moment of your distress, of your agony baby girl," he rumbled back, his hand touching against the side of her face. "You just need to be braver than they are."

The remark must have caught his girl off guard. Aliani tilted her head, mandibles flaring open as she tried to see if her Dad was just making it up as he went along… which he was, but that was beside the point. That was just how parenting went, and that went double for when you were raising a daughter from a separate race altogether.

"How?" she demanded, only needing one word to express how much she doubted him right at that moment.

Michael finally stood up, and towered over his daughter. He would enjoy this for as long as it lasted. It would not be long until the growth spurt happened and Aliani would be the one having to look down on him. He reached out and pressed his fingers against the top of her fringe.

"By going back to school with your head held high," he said back. "It will only keep getting worse if you let them think they have power over you. Don't let them have power over you."

The answer Michael had for her was not the answer she had wanted to hear. Aliani pushed his hand off his head and pouted at him. It was clear that she wasn't having any of this. He couldn't blame her as he recalled being picked on by bullies over stupid shit he couldn't even remember.

"But what if you are  _wrong_ , Dad?!" she squawked in outrage. "What if they  _don't_  stop?"

She left her angry question to linger between the two of them. Offering her an expression of warm understanding, that he took her worries seriously, he bent over. Her mouth was hung open, so Michael reached out and touched a finger against her chin, closing her mouth for her.

"If that happens, if they keep at it, then might I remind of your talons?" he breathed to her. "You'll have my permission to use them, then."

In silence, his girl stared at him, searching for any sort of deception. She would find none. Sometimes kids just had to fight and spill the bad blood before it festered. Besides, Aliani was young still. Without factoring her sensitivity and reluctance to cause trouble, he doubted very much any real harm would come to the poor soul who ended up on the wrong side of the talons.

Well, at least that was what he hoped would be the case.

Shoving his concerns about the potential Pandora's Box he opened, he watched as he brought a smile back to Ali's face. Once again she threw herself at him and hugged him once again. As he lifted her up and suppressed the urge to grunt so that the reality of Ali getting older was kept far from his thoughts, he carried his girl out of the garage and back to the house.

Quietly, Michael hoped that this would never end.

**…**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

**...**

" _Daddy?"_

Turning his attention away from the produce he was examining for tonight's stew he wanted to make for himself, Michael rounded back and found Aliani standing there like she was the most innocent thing in the world. In her talons was a box of Frosted FLEET-Os. Complimenting her sweet smile was her eyes looking up to him; they wide and dilated as though she had found his weakness and was attempting to exploit it to the best of her ability.

"Look, it comes with a toy dreadnought in the box. It can hover  _annnd_  it launches missiles!" she exclaimed as though that was the selling point. "Can I please get it?  _Pleeease_!?"

Michael's lips pushed together as he eyed her with mild amusement at just how well she was trying to sell it to him. He ignored the small throbbing ache in the pit of his gut. It was the exact same sort of sales tactic his human girls tried to use on him what now felt like an eon ago. It seemed as though regardless the species, a child was still just a child.

Doing what he did best: suppressing the guilt that he survived and innocent children died, Michael returned her toothy looking with one of his own and took the box from her and carefully examined it as though she had. Ali slipped her arms behind her back and stood almost on ceremony as she awaited his judgement.

"A toy dreadnought you say? It can hover  _and_  it fires missiles? That is  _pretty_  cool," he murmured with feigned interest. "Does it also come with a coupon for a discount for a dentist when your teeth start rotting? Do you have any idea how expensive turian specialized dentistry on a human colony world is?"

Aliani probably didn't have any realistic concept of what he was talking about, but she knew the gist of his conclusion: she wasn't going to be getting the box this time. Michael watched, trying not to wince or feel guilty as the expression of confidence she wore started to vanish, replaced by an expression of bewilderment that her old dad was not going to fall for her charms this time around.

"But…" she sputtered out as though she had been betrayed. "But I said ' _please'_ …"

Michael nodded, lips pursed together as he handed the box back to her.

"And I appreciate you having manners… but I said no," Michael returned curtly as he dropped his hand on her shoulder. "We'll get it next trip, now please go and put it back."

He sighed; perhaps he should have gotten it for her. This afternoon must have been pretty rough on his girl.

It was about six days after Aliani came home in distress to admit what she was enduring, that Aliani finally snapped and took his suggestion about having talons to heart. Michael was on his jobsite when he was called in for a parent teacher meeting. When he arrive, he found Aliani with a bruised mandible, and just as he was about to flew into a rage, he noticed six girls with med-gel coating cuts on their faces, all them sitting with their parents.

True to his word, Michael did not let his girl take the fall. Instead he took the heat for what Ali did on his permission. The girls were all dismissed and he got to spend the next hour or so listening to the principal, teacher, guidance council and the parents of his daughter's bully's rail away at him like he was the bad guy.

He let them have get their say in. It felt only fair considering they were the ones who had children gently mangled by a foot taller turian; but when they stopped complaining, it was his turn, and he offered up quite the alternative look at the situation. Yes, he conceded his daughter was much stronger than the pack of human girls, but quietly he went into detail about Aliani's treatment at the hands of the girls who had taken it upon themselves to bully her. For how long it happened, he did not know. He doubted he would get an answer from Ali. She might have broken down and told him, but she was extremely proud, so he had no idea how long it lasted. As he talked he ignored the growing discomfort of the parents, and while, yes, while he conceded that Aliani had physically attacked a pack of smaller girls, the fact that it was not unprovoked became clear to every adult now involved.

As a result, now Aliani would not be the only one to be punished. For the next week or so, they would be doing lunch time detention with guidance councillors, attempting to work through their differences rather than straight out punish the group. While naturally Michael thought she didn't deserve it, he could understand the reasons behind it. Fighting was still fighting, and if there was a chance that some sort of good could still end up being salvaged from this incident, then it was worth a shot.

Placing a bag of carrots into his cart, he turned around and headed off in the direction of the dextro section of the market. It was still a new thing for him to get used, trusting her enough to let her go off on her own, or walk home from school. While he knew it was a natural part of growing up, it didn't easy the occasional flashes of panic it gave him, not having her in his sights.

Smiling briefly at an employee of the store, he froze as he heard it.

" _My father was in the army. Are you in the army?"_  he heard his daughter speak excited in the other aisle. _"Did you fight the Reapers?!"_

" _Ahhh no, I am not in the military."_

The voice belonged to a woman, but even that didn't sate his worries. He sped up to intervene. Not so much for the sake of his child, but instead for the stranger she undoubtedly had cornered and was currently in the process of interrogating.

" _Are you in the Navy?"_ Aliani asked with equal curiosity. " _Fighting pirates and roaming space protecting innocent people?"_

" _No… I am a nurse..."_

Rounding the cart around the aisle, Michael paused and took in the sight he found himself suddenly struck by.

Standing there was Aliani, and in front of her was a turian woman. She was very delicate looking (at least for a turian woman). She was easily a foot and a half taller than then Ali. Sheet grey, she wore angular blue clan markings, indicating her as a citizen of Palaven, or at least she was in her youth. It had been years since Aliani was in the presence of another turian, but it was bound to happen as Eden Prime was increasingly welcoming turians to the colony world after the events that occurred during the Reaper occupation.

"Oh…" she said, sounding a little disappointed that the military wasn't involved in the turian woman's life. Her mandibles flared open again to form an enthusiastic smile once again as she added. "Well, do you fight infections?"

The woman appeared stunned by the question, so Michael took pity on her and made his presence known as he approached the two of them. The woman looked up and stared at him suspiciously as he came to a stop next to the girl.

"You know, don't have to pester  _everyone_  you see…" he teased, placing a hand on Ali's shoulder.

He watched as the turian woman narrowed her avian style eyes at him as though he had been some sort of interference. It became obvious to him that she was a few inches taller than he was. The woman stepped forward and placed her talon on Ali's shoulder.

She's fine,  _sir_ ," the woman spoke levelly, her subharmonic tone dropping a tone as it remained perilously indistinguishable between politeness and pointed dismissal. "We are waiting for her parents. Can I help you?"

Ali pulled herself out of both of their grasp on her and turned back to look up at the woman, who was still staring at Michael like he was in the wrong.

"This is my dad," Ali introduced him, leaning against him like he was a post, her arms crossing over her chest as she appeared almost like she was boasting. "He's used to be a monkey, you know?"

The turian woman's eyes widened and shifted away from the young turian girl to the father, who was rubbing the back of his neck. Apparently evolutionary biology wasn't being properly taught at school. He wasn't sure why he was struggling not to squirm under the intense pressure of her gaze.

He wondered if perhaps it had been because she was turian, which left him so worried. Humans didn't who dealt with the two of them more or less assumed he knew what he was doing, when in fact he was totally winging it. Now here stood a woman who could likely see through his bullshit.

"No… No, sweetheart, that's not how it works…" Michael deadpanned, struggling not to simply laugh out of sheer nervousness at the idea of being judged by a person he didn't even know. "That's…not at all how it goes..."

"-He let me beat up mean people," she cut across him with the exact same pride as before.

"And you got in trouble, remember?" he pointed out before she went into detail about how she more or less got away with clawing half a dozen girls with her talons.

"Aaand he doesn't let me have food I want to eat, which isn't very nice!" she finished as she pushed herself off him and turned to look up at him with an expression of annoyance.

"No… that's..." he started, and then stopped as he realized the turian woman hadn't blinked as she observed their interaction quietly. "You know what? You win. Go and get that sugary crap you want and go stand by the cart, right now."

Emitting a victorious war cry, Ali talon pumped and ran off to gather her box of FLEET-O's and she bolted to the cart just in case her dad decided to change his mind on her. With that, it left Michael alone with the woman in an awkward silence, Michael lowered his head to hide his small grin and rubbed his neck as he tried not to look at the woman appeared to be somewhat stunned and more than a little embarrassed by her barely veiled aggression from before.

Michael cleared his throat.

"I'm sorry if she was bugging you," he said, breaking the silence as he glanced back at his daughter attempting to climb into a cart designed to carry a young human. "… And for the record I  _do_  feed her. Sometimes she just thinks she's being so smart saying things like that…"

From across him, the woman's mandibles stopped clicking and normalized as she shifted her weight to one side.

"No that is fine, I had siblings like her, once. I should be the one to apologize if anything; I must have come off as rude to you," she returned in almost a demure fashion; sweeter than he had expected to hear.

Deciding not to let her wallow in the error, Michael chuckled and shook his head.

"No… no, it's completely reasonable to have had that reaction," he said, acknowledging the odd relationship he had with the turian girl. "I get it all the time, as you can imagine. Did she… did she even bother to introduce herself, or did she just sort of corner you decided to forego introductions to get right to the cool conversations?"

The woman pursed her mouth together as she attempted not to laugh. She failed and she emitted a small laugh as she causally shrugged her shoulders.

"She was far too enthusiastic about meeting another turian woman to give her name," she gently admitted.

Michael laughed as well, but it was much more exacerbated in tone. He had pretty much expected that from his girl. She had next to no filter. None of his girls did. It seeming to be very likely his own fault, then simply the rambunctiousness of children.

"Well, she's Aliani… Alianitius, but she hates using her full name… and I am Michael Rivers… Aliani and Michael Rivers," he introduced the two of them to the woman. He sounded stupid. Why did he sound so stupid?

Pushing the stupid as far as he could from her inquisitive conversation of him, Michael extended his hand out to her. The turian looked at it curiously before she extended her own talon out to him, albeit much more timidly. It was a gesture she probably did not do very often.

"Caessia… Caessia Altarius," she introduced herself to Michael softly.

Their respective appendages latched together. Caessia's fumbled inside of Michael's, as she struggled with the grasp. She smiled and chuckled nervously to him, but she did not let go. Instead the two of them remained connected, simply staring at one another as their grip on each other's respective hand and talon remained firm.

It was… nice…

" _ **DAAAAAD, ASK HER TO COME OVER FOR DINNER PLEASE SHE'S SOOO COOL!"**_

Aliani's holler was all it took to break the connection. Both human and turian stepped back, tried to laugh it off and appear casual as the strange moment they share lingered in-between the two of them. Michael was brought to a stunned silence as he looked over the equally nervous Caessia Altarius.

Once again, Michael rubbed his neck. He must have looked like such a stupid cliché, but he needed to keep himself busy in case he did something stupid.

" _I suddenly am starting to appreciate the Hierarchy's doctrine on childrearing…"_ he uttered under his breath, only audible to the woman in front of him.

The remark wasn't supposed to be funny, but he heard Caessia giggle, bouncing slightly in place as she glanced over Michael's shoulder. Michael looked back and found Ali was in the process of trying to climb out of the chart. As she got out, she shot the pair of them a smile.

The adults turned back to one another, now very aware that the child had gone ahead and got a ball rolling neither of them probably planned on doing when they entered the grocery store. For Michael at least, it had been a very long time since he did this.

Biting down on the fear building, he stepped forward.

"So… believe me, I would understand it if you say no…" he started, attempting and failing not to sound like a total incompetent. "But if you would like to… well… drop by our home… eat something that resembles turian cuisine… and get pestered by a turian girl with no boundaries for the duration of the visit. Would that be something you would like to do?"

"Absolutely-" she blurted out before there was as much as a pause between the two of them. She froze and then nodded, adding. "I mean…  _yes_ , yes I would very much like to do something with you… dinner. I have a shift tonight, but I would very much like to do that. In the near future, I mean. Perhaps we can… you know… arrange that?"

The weight of rejection was washed off him, and he took certain satisfaction that at least Caessia seemed just as bad accepting the offer as he had been extending it to her.

"Okay…" he said offering his hand out to her once again. "I'll see you then."

Caessia nodded and took the hand with a notably more confidence than the last time. Smiling back to her, Michael released the grip and stepped back and turned from her. He left, intending to join Ali once again, and attempting not to swagger as he found himself with a date in the very near future.

" _Michael?_ " he heard her call out suddenly.

Michael turned back and found Caessia looking confused, perhaps a little lost. She waved her talon to him. It was the universal gesture of a beckoning. Glancing back to Ali for a moment, Michael stepped back to the turian, suppressing his confusion as he found himself standing with a very awkward looking woman.

Caessia's mandibles opened somewhat, her mouth remained close, like she was somewhat disappointed. She leaned forward.

" _The offer is real right?"_  she whispered to him.  _"You're just not saying things to pacify the child?"_

Michael squinted at her, his head tilting to one side.

"Of course it is…" he reassured her. "Why would you think otherwise?"

Caessia did not answer him, as though she was waiting for something to click in. Michael remained silent, waiting for the turian to explain what it was exactly that was bothering her. After a moment or two longer, she exhaled, like she was dealing with someone who was slightly short of intelligence.

"Well…I don't actually know you, Michael…" Caessia reminded him, her voice deadpan as she latched her talons together in front of her. "I don't know where you live, let alone how to get in contact with you. So... not giving me those things raises a lot of questions I would naturally have…"

Michael blinked as stupidly as he could as her words slowly processed in his stupid mind.

"Oh…" was all he could coherently mumble. His eyes widened as he realized how stupid he had been. " _OH…_!"

Caessia nodded, dropping her expression of disappointment as it became clear that he had made a genuine error. She softly giggled and shuffled in place, which only served to add to Michael's embarrassment. In a span of a few minutes he went ahead and placed this moment in the top ten of his most embarrassing moments over the course of his past thirty-eight years.

"I'm sorry…" he said sincerely as he activated his omni-tool and she did as well to digitally exchange contact information. " As you can imagine, I haven't done this in a very long time…"

"Likewise… please do not beat yourself up over it too terrible, It was…rather  _endearing_ , to be honest," Caessia returned as she closed her omni-tool, her talons clasping together as they rested against her pelvis. "How about if I were to call you tomorrow morning, would that be acceptable interval of time?"

Michael nodded, a half smile forming.

"Tomorrow morning… after your shift… an hour from now, whenever you  _want_  to call, I'll be happy to hear from you…" he said, a momentary spark of coy playfulness crossing into his voice.

He wasn't sure how he did it, but statement was enough to shake the turian's position as the more put together of the two. Caessia blinked and giggled again. It appeared as though she was flattered by his sudden – and certainly fleeting - burst of charisma on display.

"Oh… yes…  _Yes_ ," she mumbled softly as she smiled back, her hand rubbing her neck as he had done before her. "I will call you tomorrow morning. I… would not want you to think I was  _too_  eager…"

Michael nodded and silently he stepped backwards several paces, giving her a small wave. As he turned back he noticed she returned the gesture and went to gather her own cart. Silently, he reached the cart and tried not to grin at his baby girl standing there watching the two of them with an expression of curiosity etched on her face.

"Dad, she's cool!" Aliani chirped happily as Michael grabbed the cart by one hand and wrapped the other around Aliani's shoulder.

As soon as the two of them left the aisle, Michael did a small jig, embarrassing Bird Daughter enough that she groaned, escaped the grasp of her dreaded Ape Dad and bolted away towards the safety the checkout machines.

Michael could only grin. Yep… he still had it.

**…**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

**...**

Gazing kindly on the husk of the turian male, restrained and medicated to keep him in a state of silent submission, Caessia Altarius held out a spoonful of nutrient paste to her patient. She hated the smell the paste gave off, but it became necessary when the man stopped eating solid food altogether. Now the smell had more or less ceased to be an annoyance anymore. Quietly she remained locked in place, smiling at the patient.

"Kavarius…" she gently prodded the male. "Come now, you need to eat… please? For me?"

The turian twisted his head around to face her, his blank expression look on her as though she were some sort of curiosity. She cherished these moments. They off the impression that somewhere deep inside his indoctrinated mind, there was still a man trapped inside.

Just because the Reapers had been stopped, it did not mean that the nightmares they inflicted on the galaxy simply stop existing. Beyond the death and destruction sowed by the war; the legacy of the indoctrinated victims – estimated to be in the billions – would remain the most insidious legacy the machines would imprint upon their final victims of this cycle.

The effects of the indoctrination process varied upon exposure time to the Reaper signals. A fortunate few – about fifteen percent of the estimated victims – were in various states of rehabilitation through isolation and therapy programs. Deprogramming them from the damaging effects; but even then through monitored therapy suicide rates were disproportionately high in these populations.

As for the vast majority, they were in a consistently degenerating state depending again upon exposure time and perhaps even willpower. Some fought it harder than others. Kavarius for example was lucid, even understandable for years. Then one day he woke up screaming like he was possessed. Like Caessia had seen in the darkest months of the war, as the Reapers started breaking through the stalemates. As frightfully terrifying as the Reapers were, nothing was more abhorrent than having your neighbours, friends and loved ones… perverted into puppets serving at the behest of the invaders.

Caessia, however, did not think it was a denigration of Kavarius' mental state. Perhaps it was just an interval thing; His mind needed a rest from the fight and would return back when it was strong enough. That had to be the case. She had heard the rumours; that the council races were looking into expanding the euthanasia laws to include the indoctrination victims. It was a typical move. They were ashamed of these people who were left behind, whom they would have happily ordered their deaths in the war. They were now treated like they were pariahs, the indoctrinated wards had more armed security person than they did proper medical staff.

After her own shift, she and a few of her friends would volunteer a few extra hours whenever they could to assist the overworked staff, primarily basic things, from feeding to staying there to talk to the more lucid ones, to intervening in suicide attempts. Her friends however had families to go home to, so it was primarily something she did alone. She did not mind being alone-

The man emitted a bloodcurdling gurgling scream; nutrient paste was spat out, coating one side of her mandibles. Caessia did not flinch or bother to wipe herself off. She leaned forward and placed both of her talons on each side of the former soldier's face. Gently she shushed him, hoping to lull him back into silence before the guards came in. She struggled to maintain a smile for the young, addled man.

"Use your words now…" she softly pleased the incoherently babbling man. "It's just me you are speaking; we are all alone, you have nothing to be afraid of... I will protect you."

Kavarius' eyes, which had been rolling in all directions, stopped moving in a flash. They slowly directed their focus onto her. His eyes were wide, demented in appearance. For a moment, Caessia's heart fluttered. Was this about to be a moment of lucidity?

" _There is no such thing as alone… not for us..."_  he croaked out, his voice devoid of emotion of any sort. He sounded like a robot… a broken machine.

Rolling his eyes into the back of his skull, the turian emitted a blasting shriek, nearly making Caessia leap out of her seat, at the high pitch which had started her.

That was all it took; the audio decibel alarms went off. She knew that in a matter of a minute, the guard detail would come busting into the isolation ward fully armed and prepared to take down Kavarius, who was now shaking through his restraints, his mouth snapping open and shut as the scream turned into a shuttering wail. His head kept jerking back and forth, his teeth bared as he tried to get to Caessia, whom had loosened the restraints for the feeding.

Like clockwork, in came four former soldiers, all of them almost as scarred by the war as Kavarius was, their rifles drawn on the restrained patient. Shortly afterwards the physician on duty Dr. Matthias Bakker and nurses Saveeti Edwards and Meena Therrapolis – her friends and colleagues from the hospital whom had volunteered with her. Each of them appeared alarmed ad concerned by the display they were witnessing.

"Stay back! I can get him back under control, just trust me, please!" Caessia snapped at the guards, and as she wiped her mandible, she directed her narrowed eyes at the three medical staff behind the guards. Dr. Bakker - a human male in his late seventies - did not look particularly pleased, but he nodded his head.

With the go ahead from the ward doctor granted, Caessia turned back and forced a smile on her face. It felt wrong, fake, but she just had to do it for his sake. With wobbling mandibles, she reached out and gripped both sides of Kalvarius' shuttering face. He sneered and snapped at her, making her flinch. She tightened her grip and with his head now forced back against his gurney, Caessia pressed her forehead against his.

" _Kavarius, it's just me… it's your little sister… please settle down,"_ Caessia addressed her eldest sibling with as much enthusiasm as she could produce. _"I know you are in there… fighting as hard as you can, as you have promised me. Please… fight a little harder… please I need you to come back to me. I promised I would make you better, but you need to help me do it. You just have to fight a little harder… I need you, brother... please."_

She was well aware that she was babbling at him like he was a child; but it seemed to be that his brain could only connect with simple words. IF she had to plead like a child, then she would it for him. Throughout their life together, the two of them made all sorts of promises. To stay in touch while he was being trained to fight, that he would stand by her no matter if she would spurn military service to be a nurse, flying in opposition to centuries of family service. These vows held, and after the war they made new vows to each other when he was still coherent enough. She would coax him back to reality, and he would always fight his hardest to come back to her.

Like all the other vows before this final one, it was a vow she would not break, even though it had been three weeks since she last spoke to her sibling, since the life in his eyes begun to fade, even after stopping the bleeding from a failed suicide attempt. She would save him. She  _had_  to save him.

A burst of unnatural strength rocketed through her underweight brother. Kavarius reared his head back and head-butted her as hard as he could. It knocked her on the ground, leaving her dazed and barely aware of his renewed screaming the shouts of her friends as they rushed to her side. She felt both human and asari reach out to pull her up to her feet and hold her in place. Realizing it was a passive attempt at restraining her. She shook them off and unsteadily stepped back to the gurney where Dr. Bakker was preparing a fresh sedative to place him back into an unconscious state.

"He needs a feeding tube, Caessia," Bakker murmured as he finished setting up an intravenous line "and we need to talk about this."

Caessia turned to grab the sedative, but found the human physician was gripping onto it firmly. His old, weary eyes looking at her like he was disappointed in her. He was not about to just hand it over to her. Not without her placating him.

" _Fine, we'll talk later…_ " she snapped at the doctor, her voice a low growl as she glared at him. "Just leave me with him right now, and I swear I will listen to what you have to say."

Bakker stared back at Caessia before he finally nodded and opened his palm to offer her the injector. She snapped it out of his hand and remained still, standing as tall and as proud as she could as she waited for Bakker, Edwards, Therrapolis and the guard to exit the room and leave Caessia alone once again with her thrashing and gurgling husk of a brother.

Shaking, Caessia turned back and ran her talon over her brother's forehead, tracing his clan markings gently as she struggled to retain her control. Silently, she worked the injector into the tube as she softly shushed his growling.

" _Big brother…"_  she breathed to him in their native tongue, willing herself to not cry.  _"Please go to sleep, easy and dreamless… Spirits watch over your dreamless sleep, may they aid you in your battle. May they not disappoint you as much I have disappointed you…"_

Caessia watched in shame as her brother slowly ceased his struggles and looked up at her with wide accusing eyes.

In her heart, she knew she was right to think that she failed him.

**…**

* * *

**…**

Dr. Bakker was not in his office when Kavarius finally collapsed under the weight of the drugs and slept. He must have been making his rounds, which were disturbed by what had happened. Caessia did not mind waiting, it gave her a short window of time to decompress somewhat and recompose herself as she waited for the inevitable lecture the older doctor would issue to her.

Sitting stiffly in her chair, Caessia glanced around the office to take in her surroundings. She had been in here plenty of times, but she never truly paused to take it all in beyond the doctorate and certificates he had hung up. Outnumbering them was the vast amount of pictures the old man had. Of him and his wife, and children, his grandchildren. So many personal mementos she found to be a little perplexing considering this was his place of profession.

Humans were very sentimental beings in a vein not dissimilar to that of the asari and quarians. She could never imagine holding onto so many trinkets… well… more than the holo picture of her brother in the prime of his life which she kept hidden in her locker. It was her one personal item she was willing to bring into her career, something to remind her of the better days. She did not know why she felt a small measure of shame she held onto it. It was just how she was raised. It was how most people born into the Hierarchy were raised.

Perhaps it was time for a change.

As she wondered the future of turian society in a post war environment, the door opened behind her in stepped Dr. Matthias Bakker. She looked back to inspect and found that he was just as weary as she was, perhaps more so considering that the treatment of the indoctrinated had been his sole work since the end of the war. It was a reminder to that she had no right to deride him for being so matter-of-fact with what he presumed to be Kavarius' future. She did not necessarily have to accept it, but she did have to acknowledge that he was not new to any of this. He worked through hundred, possible thousands of case files like her brother. He had a clear picture than most.

"Caessia, I'm surprised you got here so quickly," he murmured to her as he stepped around the desk and slumped into his seat. "If I knew you would come, I would have made my rounds after the fact."

Caessia shook her head.

"It's okay. I had nowhere else to go," she answered dismissively. She eyed the photos he had once again and added. "How are your family doing?"

"Fine, well, flourishing, really," the doctor returned, not even so much as bothering to hold back his pride. "I'm about to be a grandfather again… if there's one thing we all like to do after war, its breed like rabbits."

Unsure what an earth mammal had anything to do with the reproduction habits of humans, Caessia nodded politely and indulged the old human and his euphemisms.

The old man laughed slightly slowly the pair of them reverted back into an uncomfortable silence as the unspoken events of the past hour bubbled back up to the surface. Caessia remained firmly quiet and instead watched as Dr. Bakker leaned back into his reclining chair, his hands folding up in front of him, resting on his desk. He appeared to be in a state of deliberate observation, like she was his patient.

"That was pretty rough in there, Caessia," he observed softly, his voice sure enough speaking to her as though she was his patient.

Caessia inclined her head to one side in acknowledgment of the events which had occurred.

"It was," she returned in a soft rueful tone. "For what it is worth, I am sorry if I came off as disrespectful. I just… I lost my temper."

Bakker smiled like she had gone nothing wrong as he shook his head, refuting her attempt to apologize.

"You weren't disrespectful. You were scared, and it is perfectly reasonable to feel that way," he spoke back, empathy drenching his words. "I cannot imagine the pain you are going through, dealing with this."

The turian glanced at the human wearily.

"I imagine you have to say that a lot to people like me," she returned in a low, tone.

Bakker nodded, a small exhale escaping his mouth.

"More than I want to," he confessed easily. "Nothing would make me happier than if I could retire… but … I can't… They need all hands on deck, and it's not in my nature to leave any of those souls alone."

She hung her head as Dr. Bakker's words filled her with a new sense of hopelessness. If a man who had spent this long trying to save the indoctrinated was this exhausted by the fight, what hope did she have?

"You're doing ten to twelve hour shifts at the hospital, five to seven more here," he addressed her, not blinking as he revealed he had been checking up on her. "This is especially more prevalent since Kavarius' condition worsened. You can't keep this pace up much longer."

Biting back her natural inclination to snap back at the man for stating the truth of her current situation, Caessia exhaled and pressed the palm of her talon against her forehead, drawing a small circle for a moment before she refocused on the staring human.

"I'm haven't done enough," she murmured, her head emitting a small shake. "He's somewhere in there, fighting every moment, and I'm doing  _nothing_  at all… I promised… so many people that what is happening wouldn't happen…"

"You kept your promise to him, to your family. For five years you have kept him going, lucid… alive and fighting. That is something to take pride in…" he retorted, almost annoyed by her. "But you're not a foolish woman either, Caessia. You knew that this couldn't last; that the day would arrive, where he  _wouldn't_  come back to you. Well that day is coming close, and you need to start taking care of yourself as well, because the next phase is going to be too horrifying to handle when you're already running ragged like you are now."

"I don't have anything else here but work, and Kavarius," she stated matter-of-factly. "It's only natural I spend my spare time here with him…"

"I know you have friends," he reminded her. "They come here with you… go out with them, take a break give yourself a minute to breathe and forget."

Caessia shrugged idly her head shifting to one side.

"They are work friends, who have families and loved ones on Eden Prime," she murmured back, not looking the man in the eye. "I'm fine on my own. I'm fine working extra..."

She glanced up to see Dr. Bakker squinting at her like she was not being rational. It was the truth, she liked to work. It kept her busy and suppressed the mixture of homesickness and the sense of personal failure which seeped into her mind when she was on her downtime. She dared not voice this. Whatever Bakker was doing, if he knew about this, it would only lead to more problems between them.

"I was not going to do this, but you're leaving me no other choice, so here's what's going to happen: I'm calling your administrator, I am going to ask him to place you on paid leave," Bakker spoke, raising a hand before Caessia could protest. "Take the leave, and I'll allow you to access this hospital for your volunteering – albeit on a much scaled back amount of time per day. Don't take the leave, and I will only permit you visitation rights, within visitation hours. You need to take care of yourself first."

She stared at the man sitting across from her. She knew better than to fight him. Not when he was ready to revoke extended access from Kavarius from her in the name of her health.

"You're awful  _bastard_ , Doctor Bakker," she mutinously muttered to him. She wasn't serious, and she was glad that the old human could see that.

"I certainly am," he agreed with her, a smile crossing over his mouth for the turian. He exhaled, adding, "You're young, don't burn yourself out so quickly… it's okay to have a life; I had to learn that the hard way. It only took two marriages to get that point driven into me."

A life outside of this… yes, she was very much aware of that since the events of yesterday after her encounter with Michael Rivers and his turian adopted daughter Alianitius. She wasn't sure why she accepted so quickly his offer; under most circumstances she would have politely refused the offer. Work… her brother came before personal affairs.

She supposed there was something so intrinsically peculiar about the man, who forewent the inclinations of adopting a member of his own race before a child of another. It raised a great deal of questions she would like to have answered. It did not hurt either that he was charming in a somewhat awkward way. She was not particularly clever or full of life herself with the workload she hung over herself.

Mentally she berated herself. She really should have called him right after her shift, but it was fairly early in the morning, and she could imagine he would be busy starting his daughter's day, or trying to get in those precious extra minutes of sleep before it was interrupted but that unusually inquisitive child he was raising.

"Caessia?"

Dr. Bakker broke through her deliberations on Michael Rivers. Caessia looked up and found that any good humour was gone from the physician's face.

"There still needs to be a decision made about Kavarius' long term care plan in the immediate future," he reminded her. "You have, after all, power of attorney over him here on Eden Prime. You know how all of this has to end; you have seen it for yourself-"

"My parents and my siblings have arranged for a visitation to Eden Prime in three months' time," she cut over him, pretending as though she did not hear what it was he was trying to convey, but knowing exactly what it was. "I would prefer it that they have some sort of say in what happens. I might have legal precedence here, but they are his parents… they should have a place in the decision making process on future course of actions for him…"

She trailed off as she examined the old physician looking at her with sympathy embedded into his face. He did not speak, and it left her much more uncomfortable than she had felt before. Somewhere in her mind, the logic driven part of her mind rebelled against the delusions she had held like a torch for her sibling.

"How long do you think he has?" she asked finally, hating herself for making the query. It felt like a fundamental betrayal, to both Kavarius and to her parent, whom she promised there was treatments for him that would work.

She shouldn't have made promises, she should have stayed objective; but it was her brother who needed her, and she had failed him.

"I cannot give you an exact timeline without an updated neurological scan, which I will schedule at the earliest time, but from case examples which have ran similar courses to your brother, I can draw a conclusion," Bakker pressed her, breaking through her depressing self incriminations. "My immediate recommendation would be to get your parents on Eden Prime as soon as they possibly can so that decisions can be made and all parties, including the patient, can be addressed; because in about six months, Kavarius is fully immersed in the indoctrination degeneration process, and it won't be long before he shuts down completely into a fully vegetative state. You know what happens after that."

Caessia nodded, but she could not look the doctor in the eyes. She knew full well what happened next. It happened every so often; the most severe victims would collapse into insanity. They would be little better than Reaper husks without the infusion of nanotechnology to alter the victim. It was the reason why so much of the budget of the asylum was funnelled into hiring private security. More than a dozen orderlies were maimed or killed over the past few years. It certainly factored into why so many people wanted to have these people pre-emptively murdered.

"As his cognitive abilities decreases, his suicide attempts will most likely begin to exponentially increase," she overheard him say. "Every period of lucidity from here on out is a potential suicide attempt waiting to happen, so we need to talk about end-of-life options. If possible we have to ask what he will want-"

"My parents will be here soon," she cut across him, looking at him once again, her talons forming a fist on her lap. "When they arrive we can come up with a care plan for Kavarius. Until then, we will stay the course."

The physician stared wearily at her flare in stubborn defiance. Silent, the man stood up from his seat.

"Alright then, Caessia… we will continue this course for as long as we can. So long as you understand  _you_  have final say on his treatment, and not your parents," Bakker spoke up with no small amount of resignation in his voice. "With all due respect, your family hasn't been with Kavarius in two years. What they expect to find, and what they will have to contend with may not match up. They might think things are reversible, perhaps they misinterpreted your optimism… whatever the case is, you cannot allow them to influence what you know is the right course of action."

Silence fell as Bakker's uncomfortable statement hung over them. Patting her shoulder, Bakker stepped by her on the way to the door.

"I'm going to get something to eat," he announced to her, his hand resting on the door pad. "When I get back I want to hear that you're heading home, or decompressing somewhere other than here. I shall undoubtedly see you tomorrow, well rested I hope."

Caessia nodded and watched the old human smile and step out of his offices, leaving Caessia alone once again with her growing self-loathing.

It did not matter what Bakker could say in his attempt to placate her. She was failing the brother who saved her life from the Reapers. No, she wasn't failing, she already  _failed_  him. How would she be able to look her family in the eye and say to them her promises had ultimately were for nothing and that the only course left for Kavarius was physician assisted suicide, which flew in the face of everything she stood for.

Exhaling, she dragged herself out of the chair. She needed a distraction. She needed something to divert her attentions away from this festering sense of failure. She could not go back to work. Not without risking her work here at the long-term care facility.

Unable to go home – at least not without exhausting all of her other options – Caessia activated her omni-tool and tapped through her contacts until she found the most recent one she had marked in the database. A flash of nervous energy washed over her as she debated giving Michael Rivers a call so soon after their encounter. Ultimately, however, it was the fear of loneliness which triumphed over the fear of speaking to the human.

Silently, Caessia placed the call and waited. It took about half a minute before she found herself looking at someone she hadn't expected, but wasn't surprised this time around. It was Alianitius Rivers. She appeared confused for a short moment before her eyes widened as her mandibles flared open at the sight of the nurse she had randomly cornered and kick started all of this.

" _Oh it's you. Hi!"_  she announced brightly. It was enough to bring a small smile out for Caessia to give to the rambunctious child.

"Hello…" Caessia returned to the child, attempting to hide the exhaustion in her voice brought on by seventeen hours of work. "Is your father at home by chance? I would very much like to speak with him…"

The child nodded happily.

" _One sec…"_  the girl mumbled before turning away to scream.  _ **"DAAADD IT'S THE COOL NURSE YOU LIKE!"**_

Yes, Caessia figured as she heard the explosion of human barking muffled on the other end of the line. The Rivers would be a very nice distraction from her problems.

**…**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

**...**

As Caessia thought about it as she stepped out of the taxi aircab in front of the address she was given, the very idea of her going through with this: stopping by a total stranger's house without giving them any real time to prepare must have struck Michael Rivers as peculiar.

In spite of this, the man was gracious enough to let her drop by on short notice and without offering much of an excuse. Whatever he thought was going on, Caessia was prepared to live with it. Right now she was in no condition to be on her own, cut off from the distraction of work thanks in large part of Bakker's interference. If she went home, the only thing that would be on her mind was when she could return to work and drown herself once again in her work and seemingly hopeless task that was her brother.

A pang of guilt caught Caessia off guard. It felt as though this was a betrayal to Kavarius, as though going out and doing personal things meant that Kavarius would be alone. She knew in all likelihood she would never see her brother again. That how he was now was going to be how he was for the rest of his life, and whatever lucidity he had would only increase his morality chances. Still, a small part of her clung onto the idea that he was still inside, waiting to claw out of the black abyss of the indoctrination to spend time – whatever little time it may be – with him; and for her not to be there, it meant that such an opportunity would be lost if she did things for herself.

It was utterly irrational. She knew that it was; but it was that sort of hope – insidious as it may have been – was something that kept her doggedly committed to maintaining her brother's inevitable decline for as long as she had. That and a promise she made to her family; that he would make it through this.

It had been her fault. All of it was her fault. The favourite son of her mother and father had been indoctrinated by her. They never much cared for her. She wasn't being dramatic. She knew her father's opinion on her all too well: too weak to follow family tradition. Mother was more muted… more passive aggressive. They thought that her choice in career had been a wrong one, and since Kavarius… well, they certainly held his condition over her head. This was the reason why she had made the promise: a potent mixture of guilt, shame and a desire to be redeemed in her parent's eyes. With that she took her ailing brother off Palaven and took him to the human colony of Eden Prime.

Eden Prime, like every significant colony world before the Reaper attack, was in a state of flourishing growth. With the home worlds of the Council races in chaos and reconstruction, these relatively untouched worlds became significant players as the Council worlds struggled back to their feet. This turn of event proved to be a trying thing in the case of human worlds, as they were still relative newcomers. While larger worlds like Elysium and Terra Nova served as major trade and the new seat of government for the Alliance respectively.

Eden Prime, however, became something much more; something more along the lines of an outreach world offered up by Earth. The tranquil world was a perfect environment and location to take in the sick and wounded in the shadow of the war; and not just humans, but of all races. This in some ways made Eden Prime a sort of new Citadel, where all the races could meet, trade and heal these horrible wounds together.

Of course there was a little tension in the air. Eden Prime's settlers were exactly fans of the newcomers. It wasn't even a racial thing. They weren't fans of everyone who arrived on their world in the wake of the Reaper occupation. It was to be expected; they were strategically cut off from the rest of the galaxy and thereafter scarred heavily by the brutal war that followed. As beautiful as Eden Prime was, it was not untouched. First Cerberus, and then the Reapers; but through their sheer determination – and a lot of help from the Alliance and Hierarchy – they survived the Reapers, even after the terrible vengeance that befell them after a Dreadnought was destroyed at New Esperance.

In spite that the Dreadnought destruction led to a vengeance campaign by the Reapers, the Eden Prime citizens were proud of it. They made the human and even the turian involved honorary citizens. They ceased being Alliance or Hierarchy and instead became a son and daughter of Eden Prime. Birthed and killed in the great baptism of fire they brought on the Reapers and New Esperance. Made their birthday's and death day planetary holidays. It was kind of nice in a screwed up sort of way.

While the people of Eden Prime might have had their prideful gripes, the planetary governance knew that they needed the outside development, and here they all were now, on Eden Prime and doing their part in rebuilding the galaxy Proud as they were, they knew when they had to look at the bigger picture.

Silently Caessia took in the yard as she shuffled up into the house. Judging from the toys scattered in the front yard, this had to be the place. It was a modest two storey home. Bigger than the condominium she owned in the city, and probably nowhere near as expensive. Still, there a sort of charm that radiated from the disarray. It was love. The sort of paternal love she always heard about, but never really saw on her own.

Deciding against devoting any further attention to her wallowing in her family dramas, she exhaled and stepped up the stars to the front door, carefully stepping over the strewn two wheeled peddle bike lying haphazardly on the path. Judging from the decal of a cartoon turian girl with a grin on her face splashed on the frame, it belongs to Alianitius.

Well… she hoped that was the case…

Ignoring the urge to yawn, Caessia attentively rang the buzzer and stepped back, her mind suddenly was racing with the uncomfortable idea that she was thrusting herself into the lives of two complete strangers. It was one thing to accept a dinner invitation and offer the pair of them enough leeway to be ready, but it was quite another thing to drop in so short termed. She could only imagine it would only add to the stress she imagined an apparently single father must have gone through.

The opened and standing there in front of her was Alianitius Rivers, her mandibles flayed open in a wide, judgemental smile directed to the woman she only cornered a less than a day prior.

"You came, you  _actually_  came!" the girl exclaimed, her talons reaching out to grab Caessia by her hand.

With a somewhat surprising display of strength, the child yanked the nurse into the house and closed the door behind them before Caessia could even say anything. In spite of her exhaustion and the crippling depression she was diagnosed with, she could not help but return the smile with a small one of her own as she observed and absorbed the enthusiasm of the child. It was very evident she was not exposed to other turians very often.

"Hello Alianitius, it is nice to see you again so soon. I hope this is not an imposition," Caessia spoke demurely to the child as she stepped forward, her eyes glancing around the interior of the well-worn home before redirecting her gaze to the child.

The child did not seem to know that word yet… imposition… but even if she did, the screech Alianitius emitted was directed at something entirely different.

"Will you please don't call me that?!" she… whined (Caessia was certain she never heard another turian whine quite like a human in her life before). "My name is Ali!"

Caessia blinked at the child. Perhaps it was for the best that she did drop by so quickly. The child showed significant characteristics of a hyperactivity disorder. Deciding it was probably unwise to get the kid diagnosed so soon and on a drug program to curve her behaviour, she gracefully gave a small nod, obliging to the child's request. This was, after all, her home. It was only fair to abide these requests.

"Very well then…  _Ali_ ," Caessia addressed the child, fumbling slightly with the child's nickname. "I imagine your father is home?"

Ali nodded and smiled wide again. Without hesitation or even asking permission, the girl reached out and grabbed the woman by her talon and nearly dragged the older woman down the hallway.

"He's in the kitchen," she informed Caessia, her tone dropping silently as it took on a note of curiosity as she added. "He's acting all  _weird_  since you called. Making a fuss with dinner and cleaning up the house. He made me file my talons!"

Ali rounded back and with an expression of distain, she wiggled her digits at Caessia for her to examine. Sure enough her talon tips were dulled. Caessia bit the inside of her mandible slightly as new thoughts could not help but enter her head. She may have been exhausted by her workload, a  _'social basket case'_  (whatever that meant) but even she had enough sense to see that something was at play here. That she might have accidentally stumbled her way into something much more than just a dinner.

Ignoring the little flutter in her heart at the thought of the human knowing how to properly groom a turian, Caessia tried to think of other things, but it always rounded back to the alienness of the man who invited her over. She had never really thought about these sorts of things before… dating an alien… a human. She never really thought that a human would see a turian in that sort of way. Heterosexual human males were apparently pretty big on mammary glands for reasons which escaped her, but most certainly were some sort of psychological throwback, if she got her facts straight. As turians did not hit that characteristic, it seemed so unlikely something significant could happen.

"It sounds as though he's trying to make a good first impression," she murmured back to the child. "Is that so bad?"

The child unabashedly pouted.

"It is when he's makin' me file my talons," Ali returned mutinously as she continued to walk the two of them to what Caessia assumed was the kitchen from the smell of it. "Daddy keeps sayin' I'm too sharp. Not my fault apes are so soft…"

Caessia suppressed the urge to laugh. She instead recomposed herself as the two of them entered the kitchen. Sure enough there was Michael Rivers; his back was turned to them. He was wearing an apron; his back was bent as he was peering into the oven to check what smelled like a roast he was making for Ali and her.

Honestly, she had expected something a little simpler, judging on the self-deprecation the human showed. But from scent alone, it smelled like everything was going right Caessia could never understand why humans were so mean and hard on themselves. It was like they were afraid to assess their abilities properly in fear of coming off as rude, so instead they made mean comments about themselves to look foolish.

Next to her, Ali cleared her throat, making the man jump. Michael turned around and looked at him. He had soft, gentle eyes. It was as though he would never harm anything in his life. Peculiar considering his daughter said he was a soldier. A small smile… perhaps a grin crossed onto his gentle expression as his hand reached back behind him to close the oven door. Silently Michael stepped forward, closing much of the gap between the two adults.

Michael came to a stop and in a shared moment of awkward silence, the two of them remained locked eyed on one another. It seemed to her that Michael too was not exactly good at this sort of…. Thing, just as she was. This hypothesis filled her with some small amount of hope that she would not come off as foolish as she thought she would be.

"Hello…" Michael finally, breaking the silence between the two of them.

"Hello…" Caessia nearly immediately returned to the human male, her hand wrapping around her opposite fore arm as a small wave of nervousness washed over her as she found herself the centre of attention.

Ali looked between the two adults locked in a staring contest.

"Hi!" she interjected brightly, breaking Michael and Caessia's eye contact. They looked to her and found the child was smiling brightly at the two of them.

Michael emitted a small strained laugh at his daughter's attempt to get their attention. He reached out and using his knuckled, scrapped them against the top of Ali's head, earning an enraged squawk and an expression of outrage from the child.

"Welcome to our home, Miss Altarius," Michael spoke to her directly as he pulled his hand back and dropped it to his side. "I hope it was not too hard to get here."

Blinking rapidly as her mind fogged, Caessia struggled to smile and shook her head.

"No, not at all," she replied as she watched Michel pull of his apron. "I wanted to first apologize for dropping by so relatively unannounced. I got off work and I thought it would be nice to cut through the awkward few days which are normally so socially acceptable to wait… for humans at least."

"No it's fine," Michael immediately dismissed the apology. "You did catch me a little off-guard, although I really should be less surprised that a turian would be proactive as I was."

Caessia flared her mandibles open slightly as Michael nudged his girl.

"Yes…" she started, not looking either the human or the turian girl in the eyes well… your daughter is a little more…  _obtuse_ … than others of our race."

The adults shared a laugh, Ali, on the other hand did not seem to understand what it was Caessia was saying. She simply smiled out of confusion. Caessia fell silent as she watched Michael step by her. She felt a small jolt inside her as his arm brush against his as he went to the bag of groceries he left unpacked on the table.

"I'm finishing off dinner, should be done in a half hour, I'm making sure all parties won't get poisoned," Michael mused as he turned back to face her, a wine bottle in hand. "Can I offer you something to drink? A glass of wine? Or something else?"

"Daddy, could I have tea please!" Ali interjected immediately.

Michael snapped his fingers warningly to his child. If he was trying to be serious, he was failing. He looked away from Ali and directed the mild grin back to Caessia, who looked from Ali to Michael once more.

"She's a grownup turian now," he explained to Caessia sardonically. "She's too  _old_  for juice now."

Caessia glanced to Ali, who puffed her chest out proudly, ignorant that her father was actually teasing her. Caessia suppressed the urge to smile, and turned back to Michael and inclined her head to the man.

"Wine would be quite lovely, thank you," she agreed with her host.

As Michael offered her another faint, nervous sounding laugh as he opened the bottle, Caessia shifted in place. She was acutely aware that the man had to have rushed out to pick it up just for her sake. Either he did this in the three hour gap of time, or at some point the previous day, she did not know. It was… peculiar that he was so prepared.

Caessia accepted the glass from her host, sipping her drink. She tacitly ignored how alcohol and Caessia did not mix well. Her siblings made fun of her for it because it made her docile… Well, she would just have to power through it. It was only one glass of wine…

… And just like that, the glass was already emptied and Caessia was now officially slightly buzzed. She hadn't exactly meant to do that.

Caessia looked from the glass and back to Michael, who was looking at her, no doubt surprised how fast she emptied her glass. Ignoring the urge to escape out of sheer embarrassment, Caessia swallowed her shame and looked at Michael haplessly. Michael stepped forward and poured the woman a second glass. He seemed to be struggling not to laugh.

"I imagine as a nurse, you'd need that," he said as he finished pouring her a second helping. "Why don't you go and make yourself comfortable in the living room. I'll be with you in a bit. Ali, you can help set the tables; I think we should give our guest a moment to look around without certain people hanging off her."

Caessia gripped her wine glass slightly as she opened and closed her mouth to speak, but the words did not come to her.

"If you need help..." she murmured her offer of assistance her host.

The offer for aid was politely refused and with that dismissal Caessia knew better than to fight or argue against human stubbornness and decided instead to step back and turn away from the father and daughter finishing up in the kitchen. She paused and looked back and noticed the child was standing next to her father; the girl pushed her hip out and checked her dad, making the human stumble. Caessia winced and found herself acutely aware that the physical power dynamic between father and daughter was in the midst of shifting, at least in the physical sense. It would not be long before the child would be able to physically overpower her human father.

" _Ohmigosh dad, I'm so sorry!"_  she heard the child shout out.

Deciding to allow them their space so that the dad could chastise the daughter without the constraints of a guest watching him, silently Caessia stepped out of the kitchen, her eyes scanning her surroundings she did not fully take in thanks to the child whom had dragged into the house.

After a few moments of walking , sipping her wine (much slower this time around) and taking in the many pictures of Alianitius and her father taken over the course of their life together, she came to the living room. The holoplayer was on, playing a news broadcast with the sound off. She paid it no attention as she looked at the photos hanging on the wall; especially the one of Michael clutching what appeared to have been a two year old version of Ali in his arm. Unlike much of the others, they weren't smiling, but instead they just appeared… content… like they were just getting to know one another.

Humans, Caessia decided slumping down on the well-worn couch, were very blatant in displaying their affections for family. It was very enviable to see the man was not constrained by anything or anyone to a point where affection for loved ones had to be held back from being publically aired.

With Michael and Ali in the other room distracted by dinner, Caessia yawned and stretched out and noticed that the fireplace was lit and crackling merrily. This was… far nicer than she thought it would be. With her in a relative stranger's home, it did not allow her much time to devote her thoughts about her brother… her family as she would have had if she was home alone. Here, safe from the deafening isolation which she lived in for over five years now, she could finally not think about everything that stood against her; from her high expectation family to fighting a terminal disease in a brother whom she was failing.

As she finished her wine, she felt the heat of the fireplace envelop her like a comfortable thermal blanket. It was growing more and more difficult to keep her eyes open. Dinner was spirits knew how long away from being ready, and Michael seemed empathetic enough to see that she was tired. After spending virtually three days awake, what would be the harm of a few minutes of sleep?

Exhaling slowly, Caessia set the glass down on the table next to couch. She nestled in her head resting on the arm of the couch as she finally closed her eyes; allowing the most comfortable state which she had been in months overwhelm her finally.

**…**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

**...**

Opening her eyes as she emitted a small yawn, it took Caessia less than 4 second to realize something was off. Her body jerked upwards in a start. Caessia took in her surroundings. She was no longer in the living room of the Rivers residence, but instead in a bedroom which had been sparsely, but tastefully decorated.

Caessia moaned softly, her mandibles clicking as she felt a mixture of exhausting and shame seep into her conscious mind. Her first encounter of any significance with Michael and Ali Rivers, and she had already thoroughly embarrassed herself in front of them; and after Michael had made a point to cook for her. While she supposed it was not wasted with a daughter as voracious as Ali, she still found it rude she had been unable to have partaken in it.

Spirits… it felt as though she had been sleeping for three months…

Glancing at the nightstand, Caessia noticed a sheet of paper resting against a table lamp. Gingerly she reached out and gripped it to inspect it. It was a child drawing, depicting three people walking up the stairs… or rather two people walking up the stairs, the third was being carried by a crude characterization of a human carrying an equally crude turian in it… in his arms, and trailing behind them was a smaller turian. There, written above their heads the words  _'ape dad'_ ,  _'bird daughter'_  and above her own depiction,  _'bird friend'_  was printed in sloppy English penmanship.

Underneath the picture, Ali had signed her name and had added a simple statement and request:  _'You snore really loud hahahaha Stay 4 Pancakes :-0. '_

Her desires to bolt out of the house out of embarrassment subsided somewhat as she sat there looking at the picture the child had apparently made for her. Caessia allowed a smile to override the anxiety. It seemed that for the first time in a very long time, she felt… comfortable in her own plates. It was a far cry from the isolated discomfort she had subjected herself for years.

She supposed that in some way, the isolation was a self-inflicted punishment for everything her brother was suffering now; suffering because of  _her_. If she hadn't insisted on staying on at that unnamed field station as the Reapers landed troops on Palaven. If her brother hadn't disobeyed orders to mount a personal rescue of her… if her brother hadn't blocked the path, allowing time for her and her fellow volunteers to escape in the chaos…It had been all her fault.

With that stark reminder, any elation Caessia had felt had vanished, and now she had plummeted back to her reality. She did not belong here. She did not have the right to stain the fragile little world Michael and Ali had put the pieces together so carefully. They didn't deserve dealing with her baggage any more than they already did.

She pulled herself out of bed and noticed the digital chronometer on the wall and carefully crept towards the door. It was still the early morning. With any luck she would only have to deal with making excuses to Michael instead of dealing with the perpetually inquisitive Ali.

Coming here to impose upon this family so soon, well… it was a mistake. It must have appeared as though she was so desperate and so lonely that she would do this.

That was probably because she  _was_  so cripplingly alone...

"You're awake! Hi!" a voice called out behind her as she closed the door to the guest room behind her.

Caessia pushed all her nuances to the pit of her stomach and turned around. Standing there behind her, her mandibles opened in a wide smile was Alianitius standing there in nightwear…  _Pyjamas_  as humans apparently called them; there in her arms was a slinky looking grey feline with a white clump of hair on its chest. The animal's facial expression appeared almost annoyed by the way it was being carried.

"Hello, Ali… "Caessia greeted the child. "That's a very nice feline you have there… What is its name?"

Somehow the child managed to smile wider as she snuggled the cat closer against her body.

"Thanks his name is Tinker, Dad bought him for me last year," Ali said as she stepped closer to join the older turian. "Dad… Dad said that if I do a good job raising him, and when I get a little older he'll get us a puppy!"

"Would you like to hold him?" she asked.

Looking from Ali to the feline for a moment, Caessia nodded her head and took the animal out of Ali's hands. Ignoring the displeasure of having animal hair now all over her outfit, she held the creature like it was a child. Ali looked on with an expression of approval written on her face. As Caessia ran a talon gently over Tinker's head, the creature hissed at her, the noise making the little girl giggle.

"He uummm he  _really_  likes his neck scratched with talons. Be careful though!" the child spoke again.

Caessia nodded and gently worked her talon into the animals as the child had directed. Sure enough watched the animal…  _Tinker_... start to close his eyes in spite of his obvious mistrust for the stranger. He emitted a small, most peculiar noise, like a rattle of some sort.

"He's… very soft…" Caessia complimented as she passed the feline back to his master.

Ali smiled and accepted the cat back into her arms; she whispered to the animal a few words of praise before she bent down and allowed the animal to flee from its grasp. It seemed to Caessia that the feline was not a very social animal. Caessia also could not help but feel some kinship with him.

"I'm sorry about the other day," Caessia addressed the child as she straightened herself back up to look at the adult once again. "I saw your drawing. Thank you very much for it as well… is that what happened?"

For the first since she knew the child, Ali appeared almost bashful in the face of the question the woman had asked. Perhaps it had been the compliment itself. Whatever it was, Caessia could hear Ali's mandibles chittered gently as the child finally nodded firmly.

"Yes. Daddy carried you upstairs. You were really fast asleep," the girl finally found her words. Her head tilted to one side as she added. "Why were you so tired?"

Caessia remained locked in a state of silence as she pondered just how to answer. Obviously she could tell the child that she worked herself into a total physical shut down for a sibling who was likely never going to come back to her. Still, she needed something  _anything_. It would certainly help her be ready for when the question was inevitably asked by Ali's far more observational father.

"Well, I had a very busy couple of days. I had a lot of patients I had to tend to, and unfortunately I wasn't caring for myself," she informed Ali in as sweet a tone as she could muster. "By the time I got to your home… I guess my body and mind just had to sleep. I am sorry I missed dinner, I was looking forward to it."

Ali merely smiled and reached out, once again forgetting boundries as she grabbed both of Caessia's talons.

"That's okay, more for me!" the child easily forgave her. "But come on, its breakfast time; annnd you better not sleep through it too!"

Caessia could not help but smile as she allowed Ali to drag her away to the kitchen.

**…**

* * *

**…**

Déjà vu…

It was a peculiar human phrase for a feeling of having already experienced the present situation Caessia now found herself in. This time it manifested in the sight of Michael Rivers in the exact same apron, cooking away at something that smelled delightful and being dragged into the kitchen by Ali.

Letting go of Caessia, Ali once again launched herself towards her father. It appeared to Caessia that this must have been a ritual of some sort. Ali bounced on final time, and wrapped her arms around Michael's waist.

" _ **MORNIN' DAD!"**_  she greeted her Father.

Flipping a dextro pancake, Michael twisted her head around just enough to plant a kiss on the top of Ali's head.

"Morning girly," he spoke, his tone a little gravelly as he turned back to the stove. "I see you brought sleeping beauty for breakfast…"

Somewhere deep in her, something stirred in a way she hadn't expect. Caessia did her best to not be flustered at the comment. It may have just been a joke. Humans were very causally spontaneous about their descriptions of others. The last thing she wanted to do was look like an even greater fool than she must have already seemed.

Caessia remained silent as watched Michael stack up a plate of food for Ali, who was making herself a bowl of FLEET-O's as well. As she took the plate from her father, she turned back to face Caessia, a toothy grin was spread over her face as she held her cereal box up.

"Would you like some?" the girl offered Caessia brightly. "Daaad won't let me pour it all out to get the dreadnought inside. Perhaps if you have some I'll finally get it!"

Glancing to Michael, who was not looking, but instead appeared to be dishing a plate of food for Caessia herself, Caessia turned back and politely refused the generous, if motivated; offer the child was making to her.

"No thank you, Ali…" Caessia refuted, feeling slightly guilty at the somewhat put off expression which flashed across Ali's face.

Thankfully, Michael finally turned around. He took the FLEET-O's and placed it back on the counter. In his other hand was an impressive display of turian culinary arts from a man who would likely never had to eat it before. It spoke values to the two way love Ali and Michael had for one another. Michael for learning to cook it, and Ali, who was willing to be the test subject for his almost certain trial and error.

"Sleep well?" he asked in a low tone as joined her, a plate in each hand.

Demurely, Caessia inclined her head.

"I- I did, thank you," she murmured, unable to look the human in the eyes. "I.. can't really stay around too long-"

"But you are staying for Breakfast right?" Michael cut across her, his eyes narrowed as he examined her closely. A small smile crossed on his mouth as he gently added. "You know, it wouldn't be very nice to sleep and run…"

The silent tension between man and woman was thick. Michael stood there, just staring at Caessia, his brow was arched in amusement as he waited for Caessia to say something, anything; but she remained silent. After a moment, Caessia extended her talons out and took the plate of food from Michael and followed the path Ali had taken, ignoring the small quiver running through her body as she heard Michael's footsteps behind her, following.

Caessia reached the tale and was about to sit at the nearest seat she could reach until she noticed Ali had pushed out a chair and was looking at her expectedly. Caessia exhaled and obliged the girl, sitting next to her. Ali smiled and snacked away on her breakfast.

Caessia followed suit, cutting into the dextro stack and taking a first probing taste of the human made food. It was… far better than she had expected. She did not know if she was being influenced by her starvation, or that Michael was a genuinely talented cook, but that did not matter. It was edible and that was all she cared for the time being.

Across the table, Michael slumped into his own seat and poured a cup of tea for Ali. As he handed the cup over, he looked to Caessia as Ali had looked to her moments prior. Caessia permitted a smile of her own as she nodded and watched Michael pour her a mug of tea as well. Michael poured himself a strong scented coffee, which at one point she had hatred the scent, but years of working with humans had made her much more tolerant to it.

There was a comfortable silence between the three of them as they ate. It was as though there was no expectation to make or maintain a conversation, which was nice for the newcomer intruding on Michael and Ali's alone time. Caessia maintained her quiet as she observed the occasional interaction between father and daughter, which was most made up of Ali kicking her dad from under the table and Michael trying to pretend it wasn't happening.

As they ate, occasionally Caessia and Michael found themselves stealing glances at each other. This made the silence that much better. It meant that Caessia didn't have to start making a fool of herself. She could spend this silence organizing her thoughts about just what she  _wanted_  out of this. Why she had so easily accepted the invitation from a complete stranger.

The conclusion, as it turned out, was a simple one.

She just wanted something for herself.

Years now, she had dedicated every waiting hour she had to work… to her mentally deceased sibling. In this time had had nothing else to call her own. She did not know what this was; what this brief time she had had with Michael and Ali Rivers was. All she knew was that she wanted to have at least the opportunity to probe around in a life that was not anything at all like the one she lived; to witness actual love instead of simple servitude to others.

So here she was, intruding into their lives… and the strangest part; the  _absolute_  strangest part was that neither of them seemed to mind it. Privately she wondered if they lonely, but in a different sort of way.

The clinking of a fork on Ali's plate brought Caessia back to her senses. Sure enough, the child has already swallowed down the last of her breakfast.

"Thank you, Dad, Can I be excused?" she asked in her most polite tone.

Apprently amused, Michael wordlessly nodded, and with that Ali scrrapped her seat back, took her dishes to the sink and bolted out of the kitchen, leaving behind the two adult who, by comparison, had maybe ate a quarter of what she had in the time she finished. Across from her, the human laughed slightly and took a drink of his coffee. Caessia too drank her tea in a hopeless attempt at delaying the inevitably of speaking.

"So..." she decided to speak first. "I am… so sorry for the other night. I failed to appreciate how exhausted I was. I made a mistake coming here in that condition."

Michael tilted his head, his back resting into his chair. He remained silent as he looked her over.

"You don't have to apologize, or explain yourself," Michael replied "It doesn't take a genius to know that you're clearly running yourself into the ground. That was pretty much my thing before the war; before I had Ali in my life."

" _ **OH TINKER! WHERE ARE YOU KITTY, KITTY, KITTY!"**_

The father stiffened in his seat at the hollering coming from his child. Caessia could not help but emit a small giggle as she watched Michael roll his eyes, his hand resting against his face as he exhaled loudly.

"I don't have to run myself into the ground…" he murmured to her. "Now  _she_  runs me into the ground for me…"

Michael and Caessia shared a laugh at the over-expressive child spattering through the house looking for the apparently antisocial feline. Caessia drank the last of her tea and looked at Michael again. He was looking right back at her, half his lip were curved upwards as he clutched his homemade coffee mug between his fingers.

Caessia cleared her throat.

"Well, I was hoping to make it up to you," Caessia spoke, as she remained locked in her gaze with the human across from her. "I would like to buy you and Ali dinner… as an apology for running last night… and before you deny that, I  _did_  ruin it."

Michael, thankfully, did not deny it.

"You don't have to feel obligated; but I would like that," he agreed kindly. "I have one amendment, however…"

Caessia felt her mandibles open slightly without her permission. Spirits she hoped he did not notice it…

"My neighbour has a daughter a few years older than Ali," Michael informed the very attentive Caessia. "I could arrange a babysitting job for her and… well, you and I could go out on an actual date… one where we're not being harassed by certain young girl with no filter… would that be something you'd like?"

Michael fell silent and looked over the turian woman carefully processing what he was saying. This wasn't just dinner anymore. This was an actual  _date_. She did her best to ignore the small throb working away in the pit of her stomach, eating away at her stability… making her think… things…  _impossible_  things…

"That-  _yes_ …" she managed to say without tripping over herself. "Yes I would like… us… to get to know to each other better…"

Caessia trailed off rather foolishly as the words sort of died in her throat. Across from her, Michael nodded. He seemed to understand just what it was she was trying to convey.

"… and see where things could lead?" he finished for her.

Okay… perhaps he  _did_  understand…

"Exactly!" she spoke a little louder than she meant to. "We could see if it… might  _lead_  to somewhere."

There was a mixture of dread and daring building in her as she watched the man mull over the implications she was hinting towards. The man hardly blinked as he stared into her eyes with the small sort of hypnotic soothing that first drew in when they met. She watched as Michael leaned forward. The smile was reforming on his lips.

"We're… on the same page right now, are we?" Michael inquired finally, his voice low as he searched her for an answer she held before she knew she had.

They might have been almost strangers, but there were two things both parties were very aware of. She prioritized work over a personal life, and he was a likely just as lonely and starved single father. These sorts of tension… were to be expected, of course. They were two adults in need of more than what they had. Collaboration… well, it would certainly be an interesting turn of events.

Remembering her bravery, she cleared her throat again.

"If I may make a suggestion, and feel free to disregard it, but it might be wiser to arrange… well… a sleepover for Ali at a friend's house," she dared to speak. "I was thinking that after dinner I could…  _you know_ … I could show you  _my_  home. It would be only fair after you opened your home to me at a moment's notice… but if you wanted to spend the night… I only have the one bed. So… that is something to consider as well…"

She trailed off and took in Michael's expression. His cheeks were coloured. She remembered something about humans and excessive blood flow to their flesh. Some stupid vid her friends made her watch. Dammit she should have paid attention.

"I am sorry, Michael," she apologized as she started to stand. "I hope I am not being too forward. I am not usually this way…"

She paused as Michael leaned forward and grabbed her by the wrist. She looked back down to him and watched as the man pushed himself out of his seat. He released his drip on her for only a moment so that he could round the table. As soon as he was standing within an arm's length he took her wrist once again.

"Turians are forward by nature, I spent quite some time learning that from a child," Michael reminded her softly. "I think it might be time to learn that from an adult… if that's something you're interested in…"

Michael fell silent and waited on Caessia's response. The only reason it was delayed was because of how  _off_  she felt. Her balanced seemed to have been off as she looked downwards into the shorter man's eyes. Caessia shifted her weight to one side and slowly she nodded her head.

"Then it is settled," she agreed, unblinking as she looked at Michael square in the eye. "I'm going to go home, sleep for the next two days, and then we'll figure out the best time for you to have that dinner and…  _ahhhh_ … personal lesson…"

Michael remained silent for a moment. He released his grip and Caessia took a wobbly step backwards. Emitting a small nervous giggle, she backed away from Michael, gesturing to the plate of half eaten food and murmuring a 'thanks' for her breakfast before she left, her mind rushing with thoughts of just what had happened.

This was not exactly something she had planned…. but she was pretty good at improvising…

**...**


End file.
